You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
