my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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