we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
