i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize