fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
