we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
