Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize