so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
