Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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