Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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