She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
