Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
