He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
