So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
