my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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