i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She bit a glass in half.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
