I need help removing her.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
