I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
