U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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