She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
