Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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