I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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