i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
ttyl tear gas
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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