dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
