Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
