i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
