he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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