I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
third nipple confirmed
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
