people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
