i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
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