I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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