I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
