isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
