R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
