Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize