u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think my vagina is haunted
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize