She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
