i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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