My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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