where does the pee come out of this thing
We need to rekindle our bromance
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
