I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
