lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
