Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
