no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
