i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
