Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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