Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
