I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
