and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
