My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize