even my farts smell like vagina
operation harelip BJ is a go
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
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