I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize