so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you didnt know i had herpes?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize