have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
