My balls are so social today.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
