I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
