Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize