your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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