Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
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I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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