Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
