she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can't turn off my feet"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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